Have You Been Enlightened?

by Jay Deragon on 12/22/2008


Enlightenment broadly means wisdom or understanding enabling clarity of perception. To be enlightened means to gain perspective which is rational and having beneficial effects.

We can receive enlightenment from relationships, study and through conversational experiences. We can be enlightened by learning from others about anything and everything. The social web can be a “highway of enlightenment” to those wishing to learn about the possibilities afforded by social technology. However, the most beneficial effects of enlightenment   is created when we learn about ourselves.

Which Relationships Enlighten You?

In a recent conversation with a newly formed relationship the exchange produced some very beneficial effects for me and   hopefully for them as well. The dialog was centric to three issues: definition, principles and effects of relationships.  Let’s examine each of these issues.

  1. The definition of a “relationship”: One definition of “relationship” is the dealings and feelings that exist between people or groups. Dealings can refer to transactions or relations with others, usually in business but not limited to business.  Feelings can refer to an affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires. Feelings can also created by the method or manner of conduct in relation to others; treatment.
  2. The principles of a “relationship”: A principle signifies a point (or points) of probability of the relationship, which allows for   the formation of or norm of the phenomena (events) that can be created. A principle is the underlying part (or spirit) of the  basis for an evolutionary normative or formative development, which is the object of subjective experience and/or   interpretation.
  3. The effects of a “relationship”: We will define “effects” as the power to produce an outcome or achieve a result, create an influence and collaborate for common objectives. The effect of productive relationships happen through a series of interactions categorized as forming, storming, norming and performing. Dealings, feelings and defined principles of any relationship collectively create the effects of a relationship, good and bad.

The Forming – Storming – Norming – Performing model of group development (two or more people) are all necessary and inevitable in order for relationships to grow, to face up to challenges, to tackle problems, to find solutions, to plan work, and to deliver results. The effect of each stage of development produces different behavior and unless we understand the  process we may never reach “performing”.

Back To The Original Question

We started this post with the definition of enlightenment broadly meaning wisdom or understanding enabling clarity of perception. To be enlightened means to gain perspective which is rational and having beneficial effects. The recent conversation with my newly formed business associate provided me with insightful feedback which was rational and beneficial. The subsequent dialog motivated me to write this post and share it with others.

While we are all learning the impact of all this “social stuff”, having common definitions of relationships, principles and effects can help us all gain enlightenment about ourselves and how well we can relate to others. Enlightenment is enabled when our hearts and minds are “connected” to common values which shape our relations.

What conversations can you enlighten or be enlightened by?

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