The dynamics of the social web are creating a clear path for those wishing to make progress. The path is listen,think then communicate. However many of the participants have it in reverse. They communicate without thinking and listening.
The Reversal Dynamics
When we communicate without thinking or listening to those we are communicating with we miss the essence of a conversation. The essence of a conversation is an exchange of dialog aimed at reaching understanding,. Understanding enables people to learn from each others perspectives which may lead to a new perspective or solution. If we communicate without thinking and listening we are not communicating to anyone except maybe ourselves. We can’t gain in knowledge or understanding if all we do is listen to ourselves.
What Are We Listening For?
Listening isn’t about hearing that which we think we understand rather it is hearing what the other person thinks they understand. Only then can we gain a deeper understanding of another persons needs, wants, preferences and desires. By listening properly we gain a deeper understanding of needs and perspectives relative to something or someone. Not listening increases the probability of not hearing the needs, wants and desires of the one initiating the communications.
What Are We Thinking About?
Ever tried having a conversations with someone whose mind is off somewhere else? How about trying to communicate with people who are not listening to you rather they are only listening to themselves. Frustrating? It is more than frustrating it is non-productive, irritating and it doesn’t help build a relationship of mutual respect and appreciation.
Thinking is a process of transforming what we think we hear into a reflection of our knowledge, experience and understanding. Upon reflection, which only truly comes from listening, we can actual learn to advance our thinking as a result of gaining understanding and knowledge from others. Advancing our thinking means learning to respond with possible solutions or methods of finding solutions to what we and others seek. Our thinking is reflected by what and whom we communicate with and all these activities are indexed and subsequently anyone and everyone can get a reflection of what, whom and how you think.
What Are We Communicating?
If you haven’t noticed the social web is a digital library which captures all communications and indexes it by key word, tag and category of topical interest. The social web also indexes conversations to and from people. The collection and indexing of all this digital data reflects what we think, who and what we are listening to and who is is listening to us about what and whom.
Communicating -Thinking = Not Listening
The price of not listening is destructive to any type of relationship. The market of conversations is proving that those who don’t listen will not be enabled to engage in conversations. Conversations lead to transactions if those receiving your conversations sense a “connection” to the conversation. In order to create a “connection” in any conversation you absolutely have to listen and think about the other parties perspectives.
Mass marketing and pushing out “messages” that don’t reflect any thinking and the lack of listening does not create a “connection” to and with the “human network“. Rather these methods create a “connection” to institutional networks that have been rejected by the human network. Subsequently your digital index in the universal library of conversations will reflect your anti-social behavior and no one will want to “listen” to your message or method. Get it?
What say you?