Behind The Social Mirror

by Jay Deragon on 03/21/2010

I had a meeting with a client and got to their office early. Sitting in the lobby I began talk with the administrative manager who is a genuine 20 something female with a heart of gold and a spirit yearning for all good things. I always enjoy the dialog with her and had previously learned that she and her boyfriend had been talking about marriage for sometime.

As usual I always ask how is life. She usually tells me of her adventurers and shares her hopes and dreams for a wonderful marriage with her boyfriend that she has been dating for sometime. She is one of those rare young people who is centered on spiritual things and holds dear to her faith. Talking with her is always uplifting and the spirit of the dialog is always refreshing.

Life Unfolds With Unexpected Surprises

This time when I asked “How is life?” her response took my breath away. She began to tell me that she just broke off her engagement because she had discovered her husband to be was a sex addict passing porn over the internet. She had learned of his addiction through someone who reached out to her on Facebook. Someone she didn’t know but someone who knew her husband to be very well.

Apparently her husband to be, a young professional with a promising career, had been exchanging sexual content with another young lady on Facebook. Yep, wide open for the world to see. The other young lady had reached out to the young lady I know because she was connected to this guy on Facebook and their engagement was transparent to the world. To say the least the young lady I know was crushed, hurt, surprised and shocked to learn that the man she thought she knew was not the man she thought she knew.

Behind the Mirror

This incident made me think about how all things social do in fact reflect back who we really are for the world to see. Now the young man in this story obviously was living two lives and those two lives were revealed by what he did on-line as well as off line. However his life became transparent from his lack of discernment and discipline revealed by his actions on Facebook. His conversations and content on Facebook hurt someone and at the same time saved someone, the young lady I know in this story.

The moral of this story is that you can’t live two lives without being discovered. The mirror of life always reflects who we are by our words, deeds, action and how true we are to our relationships, both personal and professional.

The irony of this story is that the young lady I know, while being devastated by her boyfriend’s “two lives being discovered“, had actually been ministering to another young later on Facebook. Her daily updates were perspectives she shared based on her daily bible study. Those updates led someone she doesn’t even know to bring their family back to spiritual things. This person sent a note of appreciation to the young lady I know and expressed the joy of a new life discovered because of simply devotions that the young lady I know had been sharing on Facebook (on the same day she discovered her boyfriend’s second life).

You never know what is behind the mirror unless you really know the person in front of the mirror. If the person in front of the mirror is the same person behind the mirror then what they say and do will match up and sometimes change a life instead of destroying it. A lesson for individuals and organizations to take to heart and learn from.

{ 20 comments }

Pavel ROMANOV April 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

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Oliver McIntyre March 24, 2010 at 9:02 am

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Social Media March 24, 2010 at 9:00 am

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Muchiri Nyaggah March 22, 2010 at 2:45 pm

You can run, but you can't hide. You WILL be busted. http://ow.ly/1pdys

dan March 22, 2010 at 8:19 am

Jay, I am sorry to hear about your friend. But at the same time, I am amazed at every time that social media punishes low integrity and rewards high integrity. In this situation, an at-risk union has been avoided at relatively low cost. I can only wonder how society will be shaped for the better because of social media.

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