It Is Not About You

by Jay Deragon on 03/11/2014

How-Can-I-Help-You-Created-by-MeMost people approach social media simply as a new channel to do what they’ve always done. Then they wonder why they get what they’ve always got.

If you haven’t noticed some people post things in social media as an extension of their ego with the aim of trying to inflate their ego even more than it already is.  All they talk about is themselves, where they ate everyday, who they know, what people worship them and they pretend to be someone they aren’t but think they are.  In pretending to be important they make themselves unimportant because their story is all about them, or at least who they think they are.

Promoting yourself is not about constantly telling people how great you are, how much money you spend, who you hang around or what you have done in the past.  Promoting yourself is more about promoting others by sharing their stories, their causes, their strengths, their needs and their victories.

Serving Them vs. You

Serving people’s needs is what social media is all about. To use it to serve yourself is considered anti-social and people will run from those trying to serve themselves, at least most people.  Some people are attracted to self promoting, egotistical and arrogant people because they mirror that behavior. It is nothing new rather it represents human behavior at its lowest moments.

On the other hand those that serve the interest of others draw lots of positive attention which creates the kind of influence that can create change for the many.  These people recognize the power of social media to do good and they leverage its reach and influence .  These people are the last to talk about themselves or their talent. Rather these people talk about causes, others in need and the creative ways we can serve each others and the crowds interest.

The difference between those serving themselves vs. those serving others is one ask “how can you help me?” and the other ask “how can I help you?”

Which question reflects an attitude that is not about you?

{ 1 comment }

Francis Lambert March 11, 2014 at 4:39 am

Thanks for reminding us of this Jay. By coincidence I was writing about Trust in my blog yesterday. In the trust formula the denominator is Self orientation which is the key component to undermine or strengthen trust. However changing attitude to this may require more work than just re-wording the question.

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